What would it be like to approach our new year’s goals with generosity and compassion, rather than trying to goad ourselves into compliance with tough talk? That’s the prospect Molly poses on this episode of Weight Loss for Food-Lovers, which starts off with her reflections on how rigid, unforgiving self-talk is counter-productive to attaining really any goal in life. In fact, that inner drill sergeant only sets us up for failure.
Molly instead proposes a different paradigm, one in which we treat ourselves with compassion and generosity. If we’re willing to treat others with kindness, why not ourselves? We know that self-punishment and bullying never yield sustainable results and very often only stir up feelings of anger, rebellion or deprivation. Why not consider incorporating a different approach?
Molly is offering us 7 tips for opening up the space for failure as well as a new kind of rock-solid self-confidence and success. It starts with generosity, says Molly, who provides concrete thoughts to clap back with when our inner task-master shows up and tries to bully us into losing weight. There are other ways to get to our goals and do so gently, creatively, with pleasure and even joy. The journey starts now!
Would you like to know more about Molly’s Six Key Points for sustainable weight loss? Click here to download her guide and kick off your journey to authenticity! You can also learn about her transformational 12-week course by clicking here. Why not get started changing your relationship with food and yourself?
If you’re interested in the support or accountability a one-on-one coach can provide, consider scheduling a free discovery call with Molly here.
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· Molly starts off by musing on what it is her listeners might find most useful.
· Generosity to ourselves is a cornerstone of moving forward. Mean, punitive self-talk doesn’t advance our goals and most often actually thwarts them.
· What Molly learned about generosity recently when the schedule for working on her book was disrupted by illness: Life happens and goals can be adjusted to accommodate our needs.
· We can choose to have a relationship with ourselves that is supportive and expansive. Or we can be merciless drill sergeants. Hint: You can’t bully yourself into reaching goals.
· Molly offers her Top Tips for being generous with ourselves:
o #1: Be gentle with all the emotions:
§ Recognize that pursuing goals and breaking habits can be challenging.
§ Acknowledge that fear, frustration, disappointment – all kinds of difficult emotions -- are an important part of the process of change.
§ Create space for experiencing emotions without judgment.
o #2: Recognize effort:
§ Be open and suspend judgment.
§ Don’t stint on self-praise.
§ Intentionally practice self-acknowledgement.
o #3: Ask and then provide yourself what you truly need.
§ Pause to consider what best serves us.
§ Listen to and honor emotions or impulses that point the way to forms of nourishment that may not be obvious at first.
o #4: Build in a buffer.
§ Ditch short time frames in favor of latitude.
§ Make expansiveness a priority.
o #5: Embrace pleasure and fun!
§ Identify things that give joy.
§ Look for ways to enjoy life beyond food, alcohol or other numbing distractions.
§ Connect with your inner child, the essence at your core.
o #6: Operate from a place of grace.
§ Absorb inevitable disappointments or setbacks.
§ Resist the urge to beat yourself up.
§ Treat yourself with the same loving warmth we do treat others.
o #7: Don’t hesitate to seek support.
§ Reach out to others, even when it’s not second nature.
§ Consider: A coach can make things infinitely clearer and easier.
§ Reset if the default tendency is not to get help.
· Coaching was a gamechanger for Molly, who was stuck for years until she sought support from a professional who could provide new perspectives, accountability, wisdom and encouragement.
· “It’s easy to approach goals or any kind of transformation believing that you have to be perfect, but that sets us up for failure, or not to take any action. It’s not very generous. It’s punitive, strict … and usually doesn’t work in the long run.”
· “(Imagine) having a relationship with yourself that is supportive and encouraging and enjoyable instead of one that feels like a soldier with a drill sergeant.”
· “What if you could always be a version of yourself that is there to support and take care of you, give yourself patience, wisdom, time and grace? … Think about (the difference) that type of generosity of spirit would make.”
· “In order to step into discomfort you are probably going to have to feel some difficult things. There might be fear involved. You might need to feel courageous, which isn’t always easy. You might need to feel disappointed. Or frustrated.”
· “Think about how different your relationship would be with yourself if you were willing just to offer yourself grace.”
· “Be generous in getting help to make things easier. Why not?”
Links & Resources
Subscribe to Molly’s email list and request her free 6-Point Guide to Kickstarting Weight:
Sign-up for a free discovery call at https://www.mollyzemek.com/bookings-checkout/free-discovery-call/book
Connect with Molly