Episode 68: The Worry Solution

mollyzemek
Jun 26, 2021
5 min read

Summary:

This episode is the first in a series about releasing the mental weight with weight loss. Often what causes us to overeat or over drink are general life issues and this series is designed to take a closer look at what those are and what we can do about it. In this episode Molly focuses her attention on worry.

Worry is an indulgent emotion, by giving in we are spending our mental, emotional and physical energy on something happening or something that might happen. Often times, when worry becomes a habit, we are anxious and uncertain about something that may never happen. We become worked up over a problem that hasn’t even happened yet and as a result we are wasting valuable time and energy and not actually solving any problems. Molly dives into what causes us to worry and shares three key questions we can ask ourselves to help release this emotion.

When we get stuck in a cycle of worry it’s easy to feel powerless and to stop thinking about what we can actually do. When it comes to weight loss, this can make it really difficult to stay on a plan or to make any progress. Molly stresses that this emotion is totally unnecessary and by focusing on some easy steps, she provides a way out of worry so that you can begin to feel empowered to make actual changes in your life and live a life you feel good about.

If you’re interested in the support or accountability a one-on-one coach provides, you can set up a free discovery call with Molly here.

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Topics Covered

There are a lot of commonalities between clients about what triggers an urge or what triggers a plan to eat or eating a lot more than you need to and one of those triggers is worry.
Definition of worry: a state of anxiety or uncertainty over actual or impending problems. You’re feeling anxious or uncertain about something happening or something that might happen.
Our brains default is to look for problems to keep us safe, but when this manifests as worry all that does is create problems ahead of time because we feel anxious or stressed. This produces a fear of something that might happen but it’s just as likely that it might not.
Any time we worry it’s coming from the feeling of fear or concern and keeps you from taking action because it’s a feeling of powerlessness, a lack of control.
The way to combat this is to consider a worry free diet – if you’re thinking it’s not something you can’t control it’s because you’ve built a habit of indulging in a pattern of worry.
Three key questions to help release worry
1. What would I need to believe about this situation instead?
  - Everything is happening exactly how it’s supposed to
  - Why resist reality? Why fight against what is? Learn how to acknowledge and accept it and deal with it as is.
  - Sometimes things work out better than they are supposed to.
  - Use your mental and physical energy to make your life better
2. If this is how things are meant to happen, what do I want to learn from this situation?
  - What is this situation there to tell you?
  - Shift into curiosity about what’s happening to you or about what actions you take. If you’re able to accept and be curious it can turn into a lesson or valuable experience that you can benefit from.
  - What is the best-case scenario that could happen? This is especially useful to ask if you are worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet
  - Brain defaults to worst-case scenario to create a lot of problems ahead of time anticipating something awful. It’s just as probable that things could work out well.
  - Consuming yourself with stress and anxiety leads to overeating or over drinking
  - You may not be able to control what happens but you can control the reality you create in your mind
3. What do I have control over right now?
  - Immediately shifts attention back to the present moment.
  - Do I have everything I need, right now? Chances are you are in a pretty good situation right now. Remind yourself that things are pretty good, right now. Maybe not perfect but they are likely good enough, and it’s helpful to remind yourself of that.
  - There is a lot more under your control than you might think
  - You have no control over how somebody feels or what they choose to do – always shift the focus back to you and what you have control over in your own life

Any time you notice it popping into your brain, be aware of it and let it go.
Way to solve worry

Identify that it’s a mental habit that we get stuck in, be aware of primitive brain encourages it.
Ask yourself the questions above
Use your energy to be empowered to make actual changes in your life.

Key Quotes

“What motivates us to overeat or to over drink are general life issues.”
“Worry is what we call in the coaching profession, an indulgent emotion – it’s an emotional experience.”
“If you get stuck in a pattern of worry you may believe that it’s actually helping but the truth is it doesn’t and it makes you feel completely powerless. It’s not solving anything and it’s completely optional.”
“[Worry] is also habitual – it’s easy to get caught in the trap. It keeps you from taking action in your life and keeps you from seeing the agency you have over any given situation.”
“A lot of times we spend time and energy worrying about something that hasn’t actually happened and it makes no sense at all.”
“If you’re someone who is stuck in a cycle of worry, I want you to consider what it would look like to go on a worry-free diet, to free yourself form worrying for an entire day.”
“Shift into curiosity about what’s happening to you or about what actions you take. If you’re able to accept and be curious about them, it can turn into a lesson or valuable experience that you can benefit from.”
“Life is a balance of challenging situations and enjoyable situations; a balance of positive and negative emotions.”
“You can use the power of your brain either way – you can imagine the worst-case scenario, or you can imagine the best-case scenario. When you imagine the best-case scenario something wonderful happens – you feel at peace, you can feel excited, you could be happy. That’s the power of your thinking and it’s completely optional.