This episode is the third in a series about releasing the mental weight with weight loss.
At the core of what causes us to over eat or over drink are life issues and emotions we indulge in, and this series is designed to take a closer look at what those are and what we can do about it. In this episode Molly focuses her attention on judgement and curiosity.
Judgement is a big barrier to progress and manifests itself in many ugly ways. It erodes the way we think about ourselves and the relationship we have with ourselves and focuses us on negative thoughts. Molly addresses why we are prone to judgement and encourages listeners to shift instead to curiosity.
By reframing situations by utilizing curiousity we begin to see what is the root cause behind what we are feeling. By accepting, instead of judging we are able to release the pressure of failure and disappointment and make actual steps towards making a change. Molly stresses the importance of being aware of our thought life and gives attainable steps for becoming someone empowered to set and fulfill your intentions.
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You can know what food to eat and what foods help you lose weight, but the real question is how do you stay committed to it?
Be willing to allow that desire to be there without turning to food. Learn how do decondition that thought-reward pattern in your brain.
How do we have the appropriate balance of positive and negative emotions so that we don’t feel like we are going through life burdened
Judgement in the journey of weight loss is judgement towards ourselves
It is a type of thinking behavior that we learn
It’s an attempt to punish and correct a behavior
There are no mistakes. Neutralize everything – it’s all part of the process.
Desire and urges to have food and drink are totally normal -you can either judge yourself or accept it
When you choose to judge yourself notice how that feels – You will likely notice feelings of shame, failure, and defeat.
When we feel that way we don’t actually get any closer to our goals.
If we take a mindset of curiosity, we can step back and look at the reasons behind why we felt that desire and then begin to make a change.
The way to bridge judgement and compassion is through curiosity
Accepting that everything that just happened was meant to happen. Accepting it prevents resistance
Intentional thinking – holding captive those negative thoughts and watch them.
Lower the volume on these thoughts – doesn’t get rid of them but allows you to choose to think something different
Looking for a common thread – by identifying commonalities that unify these experiences you can then learn from them
When you start to notice new things about you then you are empowered to make changes and become someone who’s fully aware of his or her intentions.
When you feel like it’s a problem you’re more likely to make more decisions that don’t align with your goals. You might find momentary relief but releasing judgement allows you to understand the habit and make a lasting change.
“When we think about things that really weigh us down mentally, a big one is judgement.”
“In the long run when you judge yourself or criticize yourself it actually erodes your relationship with yourself.”
“Shift outside of judgment into curiosity about yourself”
“When you start judging yourself you lose the opportunity to understand the entire you.”
“Anytime you have a fear of letting yourself down it’s because you’re anticipating there is going to be some kind of judgement on the other end of it.”
“What if there is no such thing as letting yourself down. Imagine what it would be like to reach a place of full compassion for yourself no matter what.”
“When I’m willing to believe this is a part of the journey and I’m willing to be curious about it usually what I start to notice are patterns in situations when I start to desire food or drink. I start to wonder ‘What is it that makes that particular situation so enticing? What am I believing that might be true in other situations.’”
“Curiosity gives you the opportunity to really learn from situations about yourself.”
Links & Resources
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